In a Fantasy Football game for the ages, the Ninja Narwhals of Dorchester scraped by the 4th & Long* squad from CheatCharlestown.
Unicorns of the Sea vs. The Cheating Commissioner
The game started out with the Narwhals quickly falling behind to their nemesis. With Frank Gore and Mike Wallace the only two players involved in the early games, the Josh Gans coached squad took a commanding lead. A last second touchdown by Wallace helped the Narwhals save some grace and positioned them to make a push in the late games.
In the late afternoon games, the Narwhals strove ahead on the backs of seven players, including a truly motivated game by Cedric "Bears Blackballing" Benson. Tallying up 93.9 points for the day, the Adam Pieniazek led group could only sit back and watch as Gans sent Hakeem Nicks and Tim Hightower out onto the night-time gridiron.
The matchup started out well enough, with Tim fumbling the ball early and getting yanked for Beanie Wells. After a few tense moments with Hakeem Nicks racking up points on a circus play, the 4th & Long* squad came up just short, racking up 89.6 points for the night. With no players left, it was clear the Narwhals would march on to victory, the only question that remained was by how much?
The Strategic Sitting
With Donovan McNabb and Chris Cooley scheduled for the Monday Night game, the Ninjas Unicorns of the Sea had a real chance to run up the score against their arch rivals. Instead the legendary Mr. Money gathered his team and told them to take a knee.
We played a tough team out there today. Some people may say they cheat, but I say they scratch, crawl and do anything to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Today we did not just fight, we scratched, crawled, and poked our massive horns and whirled our steely nun chucks and did anything and everything to secure a W. Men, I'm proud of you. Tonight, we celebrate. Tomorrow we rest. That includes you D-Van and Chris. For we are not just men, we are gentlemen.
And with the inspiring speech spoken, the Narwhals withdrew the attack and settled in. For the battle has been won, but now, these Ninja Narwhals of Digital Dorchester must prepare for the war.
Photo credit: Don't Wake Me, I Plan On Sleeping In | CC-NC-ND 2.0
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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
ha ha ha ha. I want to say something, but with my record I am not allowed..
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This is not even close to over. I’m still in second place and things are looking up. I still have multiple back up plans too.
Glad you won your super bowl, I’m off for the championship.
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Hopefully your backup plans didn’t include picking up Adrian Peterson and Drew Brees, because they are not available.
Drew Brees
Roddy White
Marquis Colston
Donnie Avery
Frank Gore
Adrian Peterson
DeAngelo Williams
Kellen Winslow
Marcedes Lewis
John Carney
Denver/Buffalo Defense
Man that is a scary, scary lineup. Who’s nervous?
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Wow, why is there nothing stopping trades? Who the hell gets rid of Peterson and Brees? Do you have two teams as well Adam? No wonder I can never win..
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No. This trade was proposed to me.
He needed receivers bad and gets Flacco and Benson who are no Brees and Peterson but damn good and in top 10.
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I’m calling shenanigans on you and Eddie, Adam. Between your trade and with Josh’s earlier you are making this fantasy season no fun.
I would have definitely voted against this trade from happening, but since we don’t have that chance I guess all I can say is whatever.
I agree we should have the right to veto trades.
Also:
“Kids from Charlestown and Dorchester, ruining Fantasy Football since 19 dickety 2!”
I don’t really see what the big deal is with the trade. It evens out because I get receiver help with Clayton and Wallace, and I get big fantasy points with Benson and Flacco.
If anything, I made out in the end with this trade because I get more fantasy points overall by getting rid of Avery, who’s having an off year because the Rams are so bad, and getting Wallace and Mason in return who put up decent points.
Yet you all threw bitch fits when I made a trade very similar with not as many names, compare the point totals from my trade too. That’s the name of the game, it’s not over yet.
No, we threw fits because we vetoed your trade and then you went and turned off vetoing.
Plus your trade did not and still has not benefited Winning with Dolphins.
Current “best” lineup:
Brandon Marshall – 56 points
Lee Evans – 48 points
Steve Smith – 38 points
Ricky Williams – 90 points
Clinton Portis – 64 points
Total: 296 points
If the trade never happened:
Brandon Marshall – 56 points
Lee Evans – 48 points
Steve Smith – 38 points
Maurice Jones Drew – 108 points
Clinton Portis – 64 points
Total: 314 points
Whereas if you look at the “best” lineups Eddie and I can throw out, it’s either even, or if you take into account the players who already had bye weeks, he comes out on top.
Oh, now I see. Would you like to be the pot? or the kettle?
Clearly you don’t see.
Brees – 129 points
Peterson – 127 points
Clayton – 41 points
Bryant – 34 points
Avery – 35 points
Total: 366 points
Flacco – 109 points
Benson – 108 points
Clayton – 41 points
Mason – 56 points
Wallace – 52 points
Total: 366 points
So yes, your trade which ended up with the other team getting less points is exactly like this trade which ended up with both teams getting the same amount of points. Now I see Josh and Matt made a trade that only helped your team, me and Eddie made a trade we both wanted to make that benefited both our clubs. Yes, that is exactly the same scenario.
So it’s not OK that Matt and I made a trade that we both wanted to make just because one made out better than the other? I believe you sir, are a d-bag.
His name says Kenny on his manager profile…..so who is Matt? (other than myself)
“So it’s not OK that Matt and I made a trade that we both wanted to make just because one made out better than the other?”
Says who?
I never had an issue with you making a trade that helps your team. That is literally what trades are for. At issue is that the trade clearly and irrefutably damaged the other team, to the point of being illogical.
There is literally no argument you nor Matt can make that Winning With Dolphins was/is/or will be better off without MJD and with Ricky Williams and Jeremy Maclin.
In the current trade, you have:
a) BOTH parties stepping forward and saying they wanted to make the trade. So far, we’ve only heard YOU say that Matt wanted to make the trade. Matt has also been a non-presence in the league and the majority of the league believes it’s simply a shell team you created to help yourself. We have no proof to the contrary.
b) Statistical PROOF that the trade at worst, does not hurt either team and at best may make BOTH teams better. This is impossible with MJD for Maclin and Williams, unless MJD gets hurt.
c) Neither of us had to resort to childish name calling or touting our commissioner’s powers to support the trade.
But hey, keep colluding with other teams, one of them might bite. If not, you always have your shell team to pull players from.
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Matt, I learned during a convo with Josh a while back that Kenny is not his real name. Which of course adds to the shadyness.
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Here’s the thing, this sounds nice with the points and all. Again though, I am in last place so I really can’t say anything except that I would have vetoed that trade…
But, you do make your point Adam
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Guess you didn’t read the last line, where I said:
“For the battle has been won, but now, these Ninja Narwhals of Digital Dorchester must prepare for the war.”
No championship for you!
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Oh I read it, come get some!
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The rumor mill is buzzing.
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That’s awesome, except you’re still going to lose in the end.
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Not to your team.
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